Supporting a New Mom’s Mental Health: A Guide for Partners, Family, and Friends

Bringing a new baby into the world is often described as magical—but it can also be overwhelming, exhausting, and emotionally complex. While much attention is given to the baby's needs, the mental health of the mother is just as important, and often overlooked. Whether you're a partner, friend, grandparent, or sibling, you have a vital role to play in supporting a new mom's emotional well-being. This post offers a guide for practical and compassionate ways to be there for the new mother in your life.

The early days, weeks, and even months after giving birth are emotionally intense. Many mothers experience mood swings, anxiety, and exhaustion. While some level of this is normal, maternal mental health challenges such as postpartum depression (PPD), anxiety, or trauma can go unrecognized or unspoken. How can you help? Learn about common postpartum mental health conditions so you can recognize the signs. Ask open-ended, judgment-free questions like: “How are you really feeling these days?” Avoid minimizing or dismissing her emotions—even if she “seems fine” on the outside. Understanding and empathy go a long way. Being informed helps you show up in meaningful, respectful ways.

Sometimes the most valuable thing you can offer is your presence. You don’t need to have the perfect advice or solution. Just being a calm, supportive presence can ease feelings of isolation and overwhelm. Supportive presence might look like sitting with her during feedings, even in silence…holding space for her to vent or cry without trying to “fix” it…saying things like: “You’re not alone. I’m here with you.” Active listening, patience, and kindness are more healing than any tip or trick.

Mental health struggles are not a personal failure—they’re a common part of the postpartum journey for many women. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is encourage her to reach out for help. Things to try: offer to help find a therapist who specializes in maternal mental health…normalize therapy by sharing positive experiences or simply saying: “Talking to someone might really help—it’s nothing to be ashamed of”…offer to watch the baby while she attends appointments, or even drive her if she’s open to it. Mental health support is not a luxury—it’s essential.

You don’t have to be perfect to support a new mom. What she needs most is safety, love, and presence. When she feels truly seen and supported, she’s more likely to open up, ask for help, and find her footing again. If you or someone you love is navigating the emotional challenges of new motherhood, I’m here to help.

Redefining Success & Productivity as a New Mom

A big theme I see in my sessions with clients and on social media is how societal norms often equate productivity with visible output: how clean is your home? when are you returning to work? is your body “bouncing back?” This can add an often overlooked layer of stress and overwhelm to new moms who are likely already navigating hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, and caring for a newborn. A notion I like to offer is how to shift our focus away from these norms and redefine success & productivity for each respective mother and what works for them. This can mean acknowledging how nurturing a new life, healing your body, and adjusting to a completely new identity are enormously productive acts. We can define success not by tasks checked off a list, but by how well a mom is caring for herself emotionally and physically. Is she setting boundaries, asking for help, choosing rest over perfection? GREAT. You might not be able to fold laundry or cook dinner—but maybe you took a shower today. Maybe you texted a friend back. Maybe you sat in the sunshine for five quiet minutes. These are victories. And when you're in the thick of new motherhood, small wins are everything.

Motherhood isn’t a productivity contest. It’s a relationship. A rhythm. A deeply human, sometimes messy, always meaningful journey.

So here’s your reminder: You are doing enough. You are enough. And success, in this season, might look a lot more like presence than productivity.

The Power of Friendship

Having friends and strong social support can significantly improve mental health by reducing feelings of loneliness and providing a sense of belonging. Supportive relationships offer emotional comfort during difficult times, helping individuals cope with stress, anxiety, and depression more effectively. I’ve spoken to many people who sometimes struggle with being open with their friends about their own challenges, citing worry about feeling like a burden to others, others having their own challenges to face, etc. While there is certainly a line between venting to a friend and seeking therapy, the power of friendship cannot be denied as it relates to overall well-being. Research has shown that increased social support is associated with reduced anxiety levels. Connecting with others—especially those who listen without judgment—can remind us that we’re not alone and that seeking help doesn't make us a burden, but rather reflects our shared human need for connection and understanding. That connection doesn’t have to be based on sharing your woes, but giving you an escape from those woes to be present and enjoy the company of someone close to you. Make a plan to grab some coffee, walk around the park, have dinner out - make an Instagram group chat and send each other funny memes - there are countless ways to stay connected and continue to foster friendship. Prioritizing meaningful relationships not only enhances overall well-being but also reminds us that seeking support is a strength, not a burden.

Reproductive Health for Women

Reproductive health is essential for women's overall well-being. It empowers us to make informed choices about our bodies, plan families, and prevent or treat conditions that can affect fertility and long-term health. Though this has (unfortunately) become a political topic, at it’s core reproductive health reduces maternal mortality and promotes healthier communities. Our habits around reproductive health start in childhood - as puberty begins, and we have our first periods, the messaging and the support we receive (or don’t receive) can really shape our relationship to our own reproductive health. From regular gynecological check-ups, to learning about safe sex practices, to understanding our bodies, women can be proactive about their health. I often speak to women who are in their late 20s or 30s and ready to start their families, and are shocked to face challenges with fertility. I hold a strong belief that women have expectations thrust upon them (from family, culture, society, etc.) that whenever they’re ready to conceive, it’ll happen in the blink of an eye. And for some people this is true, but for an increasing majority of others it is not. Personally, I experienced my own anxiety around reproductive health. I got my period at 11 years old (on the day of the 9/11 attacks, so needless to say that’ll be something I won’t soon forget). And then it stopped coming - first for months, then for years. I was incredibly obese for most of my life (genetics, mainly) and as a 13 year old girl I was brought in to a reproductive endocrinologist to talk about my fertility. It was scary and confusing and I didn’t understand much at that time. The doctor told me I had PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), my hormones were essentially wrong, and I was placed on birth control so my periods could come back. They did. But at 13, I wasn’t told (or if I was, it definitely didn’t hit me the same way) that PCOS could have significant effects on my fertility. Years go by, I continue on birth control and Metformin (insulin resistance drug). In my mid 20s I took control of my physical health and lost over 100 lbs. I continued to attend regular gynecology appointments. When my husband and I got engaged, I realized I needed to revisit the PCOS conversation. I advocated for myself with my doctor to get new lab work done. I went off birth control to understand how my body would respond after literally over 10 years being on the pill. After labs, I was told I no longer needed the Metformin (huge win), but no one could still tell me for sure how conceiving a baby would be. After going off the pill, I started tracking my cycle, taking ovulation tests, and gaining information on what my body was doing. I gave myself 8 months leading up to my wedding to do this. When my period continued to come naturally, and the ovulation strips showed my body was releasing eggs, I then advocated further and asked for an ultrasound to see physiologically what my reproductive system was looking like. I gave the ultrasound tech the shortest version of my story, and she was completely understanding and compassionate. She scanned me, and showed me and explained that although there were small cysts on my ovaries, there were no obstructions, I was presently ovulating, and there was no indication that I would face any significant challenge with conceiving. She told me to try to enjoy the newlywed time, have fun, drink if I wanted to, and have sex with my husband. I told this to my husband and we expressed our relief that we (I) didn’t have to carry this stress. And when we did the math, turns out we conceived our son when I got home from that appointment. So…all of this to say - be informed, pay attention to your body, keep up with regular doctor visits, and advocate for yourself. There may still be challenges, but you could potentially save precious time trying to conceive, suffering miscarriages, and blaming yourself or your partner for things outside of anyone’s control.

The Importance of Self-Compassion

I’m sure we’ve all heard it before - “you’re being too hard on yourself!” And, as with most things, it’s easier said than done to take the advice you’d give others, which is often much kinder than our internal dialogue. Finding ways to incorporate more self-compassion can be significant for improving mental health. Mothers in particular are often under immense pressure to be perfect, which leads to guilt, shame, and burnout. Self-compassion acts as a protective buffer against anxiety, depression, and the negative effects of self-criticism. Research shows self-compassion is strongly associated with lower levels of postpartum depression and anxiety. It helps reduce rumination, fear of judgment, and emotional exhaustion. So how do we practice more self-compassion? Some practical applications that can be seamlessly added into our regular routines include replacing harsh inner dialogue with supportive words (“I’m doing the best I can”), pausing and acknowledging difficult emotions without judgment (“This is hard right now, and it’s okay to feel this way”), & create micro-moments of kindness toward yourself throughout the day (sit down for just 60 seconds, put your phone away, and take several slow, deep breaths).

Self-compassion isn't a luxury — it’s a lifeline. In the ups and downs of motherhood, treating yourself with grace can make all the difference. You are not alone, and you are more than enough—even on the messy days.

Feeling more anxious postpartum?

Not uncommon! Postpartum anxiety is a common mental health concern experienced by new mothers, characterized by excessive worry and anxiety about their baby, their ability to care for them, and their own health. It affects approximately 20% of new mothers and can significantly impact both maternal well-being and infant development. Postpartum anxiety is different from the normal feelings of stress and worry associated with new parenthood, as it can be persistent, overwhelming, and interfere with daily life. That’s when it’s important to have support around one of the most significant adjustments in your life. Why does it happen? The rapid decline in hormones after childbirth can contribute to mood changes and increased sensitivity to stress. There will likely be a significant loss of sleep, which can exacerbate anxiety. The intense desire to protect and care for the baby can sometimes lead to overwhelming anxiety. While this can be common among new mothers, seeking support is a vital part of caring for your overall well-being. Addressing your mental health early can positively impact both your recovery and your bond with your baby. You don’t have to face this alone — seeking support for postpartum anxiety is a courageous and powerful step toward healing.

Motherhood & Identity: Finding Yourself Again

One of the biggest challenges that women may face as they enter motherhood is feeling like they may not recognize themselves anymore. Their routines are completely different, their focus has shifted, and their sense of self-care can often be a distant thought. The mom hat becomes the prominent hat, and while there’s nothing wrong with that by any means, it’s not the only part of women that exists. We are still individuals, partners, sisters, cousins, friends, etc. Realizing identity isn’t static — it evolves - can be a helpful reminder throughout this transition. Reclaiming your “and” — you can be a mom and still be creative, sexy, ambitious, adventurous, etc. You can still work, connect with friends, take care of yourself. It might not look the same as it did before your little one arrived, but it can still be fulfilling and it is incredibly important. Embracing the new parts of you that motherhood unlocks (strength, patience, vulnerability) can also be validating and empowering as we redefine our sense of self in this new journey. How can you apply some of this to your own experience in motherhood?

The Postpartum Experience…

If you’re at all connected to mom content on social media, you may have noticed an increasing trend of demystifying the emotional challenges women face after childbirth. For so long, and still to a certain degree today, there has been a stigma around new moms feeling anything but exclusively grateful, happy, and in newborn bliss. The truth is, this is an unrealistic standard that has been set for women and the reality can often be a stark contrast to this bubbly, warm, and joyful image. For me, I oscillated between immense gratitude for a healthy baby boy delivered via emergency C-section and a sense of grief around how his entrance into the world unfolded. Upon returning home from the hospital, I quickly realized this was going to be more of a change than I could have imagined. Over those first few weeks at home, my husband and I tried desperately to figure out a schedule, a plan, to feel any kind of control over a completely new experience that had us both thrown for a loop. Time does pass, you do figure things out as you go, it won’t be perfect. But hormonal changes on top of such significant adjustments can often add a whole new level of stress, worry, fear, sadness, and overwhelm. Even with the best supports in place, this can often be the stark reality of life as a new mom. If this hasn’t been your experience - amazing for you! Truly! I wish every new mom could have an easy transition into this phase of life. But if you’re resonating with anything I’m explaining here, please know that I would be honored to have the opportunity to support you through these challenges.

Let’s talk communication…

Have you ever heard the term “communication is key”? Have you ever rolled your eyes at that idea? I can admit I was that way too. For a long time I believed that if I didn’t have anything remotely not-nasty to say as a response to something - especially something I was not thrilled about - that it was better to stay quiet. I can look back now and realize that was in no way the most effective approach to communicating. That was not communicating at all. I realized I had to share how I was feeling or what I was thinking with others, especially in the relationships I valued. But I also realized there are better ways to deliver these messages. It can be somewhat daunting to consider telling someone exactly how you feel about what they said to you or what they did, but if you don’t share then by default the things that are happening around you become enabled. If your friend calls you and asks you for a ride to the airport at 5am, and you don’t want to do it but you say yes, then how do they know you don’t want to do it? And then they call you again for the next trip? Ugh! But the thing is - you can’t assume other people know your reactions and responses to things if you don’t exercise your power to tell and/or show them. In therapy, we can explore a myriad of different communication skills and styles. You can learn to communicate better and potentially be an example of effective communication in your relationships. So…let’s talk!

What does therapy look like?

I think it’s safe to say people have a certain idea of therapy. In years prior, it was very much the image of an older white male with white hair and a beard holding a clipboard while a distressed individual lay on a couch in a stuffy office. Thankfully, this is a much outdated version of what a classic therapy session entails. And, after the pandemic and the necessity of telehealth rising, it now can look like many different things. A new sitting on her couch while her child naps, a professor taking their lunch break in their office, a new graduate returning to their apartment after a full day’s work - all of these examples show how versatile and convenient therapy can be in this day and age. What kinds of images do you have in your mind when it comes to therapy, and how can they be adapted to what is now available to make therapy more accessible and convenient than it’s ever been?

Thoughts on “growth”…

I initially wanted to name my business after a nickname we started to call my son early on in my pregnancy: Bean. Because of the different vetting processes involved, I wasn’t able to use the name - either on its own or as an acronym related to therapy. In choosing “Growth” for establishing my brand, I still had my son in mind. I have a tattoo on my wrist of a little bean that has a leaf sprouting from it. This, to me, was a way to encapsulate how he will always be my little bean but he has to grow. He recently turned three years old, and I’ve been heavily reflecting on just how much he has grown in this short span of time. I then found myself relating this notion to therapeutic work - how sometimes when we’re focused on the day to day, it doesn’t seem like much is really changing or evolving. But when we give ourselves a chance to look back over time, we may be more likely to see where growth has happened. If we think of ourselves as little beans sprouting with our little leaves, maybe we can practice more compassion and give ourselves more credit where it is due. What do you think?

Let’s talk expectations…

When I first decided to pursue this venture, I had to make sure I was approaching it in the best way possible. What that mean for me was … what kind of expectations do I have about this process? Am I holding some kind of idea in my head and, if so, how rational or realistic is that idea? Do I have any evidence to support my expectation? The answer for me was a resounding “NO" - I have never done anything like this before! How would I really, truly know what was to come? I couldn’t! But at the same time, I held confidence in my ability to figure things out. I did some research, I asked questions, I sought support, and I broke it down in a way that made everything feel more manageable. It was still scary and uncertain and worrying, but felt doable at the same time. I was able to check myself and my expectations, and it helped me reset my overall approach to this journey. I allowed space for the hesitation and uncertainties while finding ways to move this all forward. I think this notion is one that can be applied to different examples and areas in all of our lives. How does this resonate with you?

Welcome! We’re both new here…

For many years, I’ve imagined what it would be like to launch my own private practice. Admittedly, I enjoyed working for groups, agencies, or organizations where others had more responsibility over all of the aspects of running a business. It felt safer to me. And it was for many years. But as time went on and my own life changed, I realized I needed to re-assess my thoughts toward work.

I established Growth Mental Health Counseling, PLLC in early 2025 as a way to fully commit to myself. It is simultaneously scary and invigorating and exciting and…scary. But I’m being honest with myself about those feelings, acknowledging them, and giving them the appropriate space. And doing this anyway.

Ideally, I will continue to connect with young adults - from the elder millenials to the gen Z’ers - and support them in their lives. As a wife, mother, and therapist, I can relate to the challenges of managing multiple roles and responsibilities. I empathize with how difficult it can be to find balance, feel like yourself, and take care of yourself as best as possible given all the balls that can be in the air at one time.

I want us to work together and find ways to think more rationally, feel more fully, and act in ways that are more aligned with who we want to be. Let’s work together toward GROWTH.