Understanding Matrescence: The Beautiful and Complex Transition into Motherhood

When we hear the word motherhood, we often think of joy-filled baby snuggles, sleepless nights, and a heart bursting with love. But what’s less often talked about is the deep, personal transformation that happens within a woman as she becomes a mother. This process has a name - matrescence - and understanding it can be life-changing.

What Is Matrescence?

Matrescence is the physical, emotional, hormonal, and psychological transition that a woman goes through when she becomes a mother. Think of it as the motherhood version of adolescence — not just a moment in time, but an ongoing evolution of identity.

Coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the 1970s (the same one who brought us the term "doula"!), matrescence is finally getting the recognition it deserves. Much like adolescence, it’s marked by radical change. Yet, while we expect teens to be moody and identity-seeking, society often expects new mothers to instantly "have it all together." That disconnect can leave many women feeling lost or alone.

Why It Matters

Many mothers silently ask themselves: “Why don’t I feel like myself anymore?” , “Is it normal to grieve my old life even though I love my baby?” , “Why does no one talk about this part of motherhood?”

Understanding matrescence answers those questions — and more. It validates the messy, raw, and real experiences of motherhood. You are not broken; you are becoming.

Matrescence isn’t just a hormonal shift. It can touch every corner of a woman’s life:

Identity: Your sense of self can shift dramatically. Who are you outside of being someone’s mom?

Relationships: Dynamics with partners, friends, and even your own parents may change.

Career: Professional ambitions may evolve — or clash — with the demands of caregiving.

Body Image: Your body changes, and so can your relationship with it.

Mental Health: Emotions can feel overwhelming. Some mothers face anxiety, depression, or just a persistent feeling of being "off."

Recognizing these shifts as part of a larger process can offer relief and perspective.

How to Support Yourself During Matrescence

Name It: Simply knowing there’s a word for what you’re feeling can be empowering.

Find Your Village: Seek out other mothers who are willing to be honest, not just Instagram-perfect.

Prioritize Self-Compassion: You’re learning how to mother yourself just as much as your child.

Seek Professional Support: Therapists, coaches, or support groups who understand matrescence can be invaluable.

Give Yourself Time: Matrescence doesn’t end after maternity leave — it can last months, even years.

Matrescence is not a flaw in the system — it is the system. It’s not about bouncing back; it’s about becoming someone new. And like all great transformations, it deserves patience, grace, and understanding.

If you’re a mother feeling overwhelmed by the changes within you, know this: you are not alone. You are in the midst of matrescence — and that, in itself, is a powerful, sacred journey.