How to Handle Unsolicited TTC Advice (Without Losing Your Mind)
Trying to conceive (TTC) can feel like a full-time job, a science experiment, and an emotional rollercoaster all rolled into one. Add in a stream of well-meaning but unsolicited advice from family, friends, or even strangers and it can quickly become overwhelming.
If you’ve ever been told to “just relax,” “try a vacation,” or “stop thinking about it and it’ll happen,” you’re not alone - and you’re definitely not wrong for feeling frustrated.
In this post, let’s unpack why unsolicited advice hits so hard during TTC — and more importantly, how to protect your peace.
When you’re TTC, your body, mind, and heart are already doing a lot. You may be charting ovulation, navigating medical appointments, facing month after month of hope and disappointment, or grieving silently after a loss. So when someone casually tosses out “My cousin drank pineapple juice and got pregnant the next month!” - it can feel like they’re minimizing your experience.
Unsolicited advice often assumes that your situation is simple or fixable, you haven't already thought of that thing, and you're not already doing everything you possibly can. At its core, it can feel dismissive even if the intent was loving.
Here are some ways to consider navigating unsolicited TTC advice…
Have a go-to response ready - “I appreciate you caring. It’s a sensitive topic for me, so I’d rather not go into details.” Not every comment deserves a full explanation. This short, kind reply allows you to set boundaries without escalating tension.
Decide who gets access to your journey - “We’re taking things one step at a time.” Your privacy is not rudeness - it’s self-care.
Use Humor (if that’s your style) - “Wow, I had no idea vacation sex was that magical. Should we start a GoFundMe for Italy?” Only use humor if it feels natural to you — never as a mask for pain you haven’t processed.
Vent to the right people - It’s okay to feel hurt or angry. Let yourself vent - but do it in a safe space: a trusted friend, support group, therapist, or even a TTC community online. You don’t have to “be the bigger person” in your private feelings. Give yourself the grace to feel all of it.
Remember that you are not alone - So many of us have walked this road. If you’re tired of explaining yourself or fending off advice, know that you’re in good company. TTC is already hard and you don’t need to carry the extra weight of other people’s opinions.
People usually mean well — but that doesn’t mean their advice is helpful. In a culture that loves quick fixes and success stories, fertility challenges don’t always get the space or sensitivity they deserve.
Protect your heart. Choose your circle. And most of all, give yourself permission to feel what you feel.
You're doing so much better than you think.