Then vs. Now: Comparing Early Pregnancy Expectations to Reality

When I found out I was pregnant, I was shocked. We weren’t actively trying, but we weren’t actively not trying. And to show how surprised we were, my husband and I had to Google “what do you do after a positive pregnancy test?” For us, the answer was sorta freak out, cry, and sit and stare off into the distance deep in thought.

Then came the Pinterest board full of dreamy maternity photos and nursery inspo. Then a mental checklist of all the “right” things to do. And just a heart full of excitement (and nerves). Like most first-time moms, I entered pregnancy with a mix of anticipation and assumptions — most of which were gently (or not-so-gently) corrected by reality.

It’s incredibly common to have expectations of your own journey to conceive, becoming pregnant, and how pregnancy will be. Here's a look at how my expectations stacked up against what actually happened:

Expectation #1: I’d Feel Instantly Connected to the Baby

Then:
As soon as I saw the two pink lines, I expected a magical bond to form instantly.

Now:
It took time. For weeks, pregnancy felt abstract — just a concept, not “real.” I worried something was wrong with me for not feeling instantly attached. And in full transparency, I took a pregnancy test every day until my first OBGY appointment. But once I got the official confirmation, heard the heartbeat, and saw my sonogram - it shifted. By the time I felt those first kicks, everything shifted. The bond did come, just not the way I thought it would.

Expectation #2: I’d Eat Super Healthy All the Time

Then:
Kale smoothies! Avocado toast! All organic, all the time!

Now:
First trimester me would be surviving on a snack bag of Cheerios to curb nausea and could not tolerate certain smells. Later on, I found balance — but I definitely had my …moments of not eating incredibly intuitively.

Expectation #3: My Partner Would Know Exactly What I Needed

Then:
I assumed my husband would be a mind-reader. Bring me snacks before I ask. Know how to rub my back just right.

Now:
He needed guidance — and that’s okay. I learned that communicating my needs clearly was way better than resenting unspoken expectations. We grew together in this.

These are just some of the ideas I had in my head that changed from what I could perceive as my pregnancy journey began and what I learned and had to accept as it continued.

Expectations are just that — expectations. The reality is often messier, more emotional, more exhausting… but also more meaningful than anything I could have predicted.

If you're pregnant or are just feeling overwhelmed by how different things are turning out, you're not alone. The journey is rarely picture-perfect—but it’s real, and it’s yours.

Reach out today for support!