A New Year Check-In: Questions Every Mother Deserves to Ask Herself

The start of a new year often arrives with a quiet (or not-so-quiet) message: Do more. Be better. Fix yourself.

For many mothers, that message can feel heavy - especially after a year of giving, surviving, adjusting, and holding so much for others.

This year, instead of resolutions, consider a check-in. Not an evaluation. Not a list of things to change. Just a moment to notice where you are and what you need.

You deserve that pause.

1. How am I really feeling—physically, emotionally, mentally?

Not how you should feel. Not how you think others expect you to feel. Just… honestly.
Exhausted? Numb? Hopeful? Overwhelmed? Somewhere in between?

Naming your experience is not complaining — it’s awareness.

2. What has been hardest for me lately?

Motherhood often teaches us to minimize our struggles. This question invites you to acknowledge them without judgment.
Hard doesn’t mean failure. Hard means human.

3. What has helped me get through the last few months?

This might be something big, like therapy or support from a loved one—or something small, like a quiet cup of tea or a deep breath in the car.
You’ve already been coping, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

4. Where am I carrying more than I should?

Many mothers carry emotional labor that goes unseen: worries, planning, remembering, anticipating everyone else’s needs.
If something feels too heavy, it may be because it is too heavy to carry alone.

5. What do I need more of right now?

More rest? More reassurance? More help? More space?
Needs can change with seasons of motherhood, and honoring them is a strength — not a weakness.

6. What can I gently let go of this year?

This might be guilt, comparison, unrealistic expectations, or the pressure to “bounce back.”
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up — it means making room to breathe.

7. Who can I reach out to if things feel harder?

Support doesn’t have to be dramatic or urgent to matter. A friend, a partner, a healthcare provider, a support group — connection is a protective factor for maternal mental health.

8. What would kindness toward myself look like today?

Not for the whole year. Not forever. Just today.
Sometimes kindness is rest. Sometimes it’s asking for help. Sometimes it’s simply saying, “I’m doing the best I can.”

Let all of this serve as a gentle reminder….

You do not need a new version of yourself this year.
You are allowed to move slowly. You are allowed to still be healing. You are allowed to need support.

If this check-in brings up feelings you weren’t expecting, you’re not alone — and help is available. Maternal mental health matters every day of the year, including the quiet, uncertain ones.

This year doesn’t have to be about becoming more.
It can be about being held, supported, and seen.