What You Survived Last Year Matters More Than What You Achieved

As the new year begins, it’s hard to escape the messages telling us to reflect on what we accomplished—the goals we met, the milestones we hit, the boxes we checked.

But if you’re a mother, especially one who has been pregnant, postpartum, grieving, healing, or simply surviving, I want to gently offer a different truth:

What you survived last year matters more than what you achieved.

Survival Is Not Failure

Many mothers enter the new year feeling behind.

Behind on goals.
Behind on careers.
Behind on who they thought they’d be by now.

But survival often doesn’t look productive on the outside. It looks like getting through days on little sleep. It looks like holding yourself together during anxiety spirals. It looks like loving your child while silently struggling. It looks like showing up when you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, or unsure.

If last year asked you to survive more than thrive, that does not mean you failed.
It means something hard happened — and you kept going.

The Invisible Things You Carried

You may not have:

• Launched the project

• Lost the weight

• “Bounced back”

• Felt like yourself again

But maybe you:

• Survived pregnancy complications

• Navigated postpartum anxiety or depression

• Grieved a loss no one else could see

• Adjusted to a body and identity that changed

• Learned how to keep going on days you wanted to stop

Those things count. DEEPLY.

Motherhood Redefines Strength

So much of maternal strength is quiet and unseen.

It’s regulating your emotions when your nervous system is overwhelmed.
It’s caring for others while learning how to care for yourself.
It’s surviving seasons where rest felt impossible and support felt limited.

In therapy, I often remind mothers that resilience isn’t about pushing harder — it’s about staying present through what’s hard.

If you’re still here, still trying, still loving in the midst of uncertainty, that matters more than any achievement list.

You Don’t Owe the New Year a New You

You don’t need to transform, optimize, or reinvent yourself to be worthy of this year.

You don’t need big goals to justify your existence.
You don’t need productivity to prove your value.
You don’t need to “do more” to be enough.

If this year is about healing, resting, or simply catching your breath — that is not settling.
That is listening.

A Gentler Way Forward

Instead of asking:
What should I accomplish this year?

You might ask:

• What do I need more of?

• What am I still healing from?

• What helped me survive last year?

• What deserves compassion instead of pressure?

There is no timeline for recovery.
There is no deadline for feeling better.
There is no prize for rushing your healing.

As You Step Into This Year

If no one has told you this yet, let me say it clearly:

You are not behind.
You are not broken.
You are not weak for needing time.

What you survived last year matters.
And it is enough.