Mom Rage Doesn’t Make You a Bad Mom - Let’s Talk About It

We don’t talk enough about the moments in motherhood that make us feel out of control, ashamed, or just plain human. Mom rage - that sudden surge of anger, frustration, or even fury—can come out of nowhere, and when it does, it can leave us feeling like we’ve failed. But here's the truth: feeling rage doesn't make you a bad mom. It makes you a mom under pressure, under-supported, and often unheard.

Personally, I experienced a lot of shame around mom rage when it first appeared. I felt how irrational it all seemed, but couldn’t deny how real it was for me. I would have sudden bursts of anger that feel out of proportion to the situation. I felt out of control and sometimes scared of my own reactions. There was definitely deep shame and guilt after an outburst. I found it incredibly difficult to practice any self-compassion in those moments. I was overstimulated in a way I’d never experienced before (noise, touch, mess) and was unprepared for how maxed out my senses became postpartum. The mental overload - all the decisions, responsibilities, expectations - didn’t help that overstimulation. It felt impossible to calm down quickly after an episode, I’d be crying out of anger and sadness and swinging between both.

For a long time I thought something was “wrong” with me, like I didn’t know how to be a mom in the “right” way. I held onto those beliefs closely, afraid to share them aloud with anyone else. What I learned - after my own eventual therapy and admitting this to myself and my provider - was that this can be an incredible normal experience for moms.

When we are able to open up about our own experiences with mom rage - what triggers it, how it makes us feel, and what we’ve learned from sitting with those emotions instead of burying them - we can break the silence, together.